sunday was my first "pregnant" day. i totally burst out in tears over something so ridiculous i usually would laugh about, not cry. and then i got naseaus. like almost threw up, had to lie down and eat saltines. yep. guess i really am pregnant ; )
then last night i was all emotional watching "baby story." i usually do cry when i watch it, but the past few times i just got a bit misty eyed, no big deal. last night i was like bawling and made steve come to bed and comfort me. oy vey. and this is only the begining...........
tonight we meet the doula. i'm so excited!
then just a few more days till iowa, where we get to see my parents and tell them they're about to become grandma and grandpa!!!!!!!! fun stuff : )

had my first dr. appointment on saturday. got to see baby for the first time, and the heartbeat! i totally cried. at first it was taking the dr. a while to get a good picture of you, but i thought that he couldn't find a baby!!!! i freaked out inside, "see, i did make it all up! i'm not pregnant, just getting fat and oh.............." yeah, i'm a dork. but i cried when i saw baby. made copies of teh ultrasound and put them in my wallet : ) next picture i see will look more like a baby.
i brought a list of my "symptoms"
thought i'd write it down here to remember:
bloated/gassy (and ohso sexy)
stuffed up (like allergies) mostly in the mornings
tender boobs, just for a few days
hungry
tired
thirsty- been drinking LOTS of water!!!!
some pms type symptoms

and here were my questions for the dr. dr. trifunovich, by the way. at first i thought he was going to be this big huge man wiht a thick russian accent. was kinda intimidated by the idea of that bringing baby into the world. but hes just a nice, 40 something year old man. seems like a good guy
anyways, my random questions were:
what type of working out can i do?
can i travel? (going to iowa for the 4th of july!)
can i use my face creams?
hair thing?
what to eat?
nailpolish ok?
laptop on my lap ok?
miscarriages heridertary?

answers are
the same as before
yes
yes
yes
try not to eat too much fruit and breads. do a atkins type diet. damn
yes
yes
can be. needs more information..............

ok, so thats my update for the day. i'll scan in baby's first picture : ) can't wait to meet you!!!!

feeling much better today. not as paranoid. there is still the little nag in the back of my head. but i'm feeling better. my stomach has been messed up. not nasaues (sp?) but funky. my cousin told me thats normal. and i've been waaaay stuffed up. apparently this too is normal. what a weird sypmptom. but whatever. its so hard keeping it a secret. the biggest news ever and i can't just shout it to the world???? i cannot wait to tell my parents. just a little more than two weeks. i can do this.........
my dr. appointment is saturday. i cannot wait!!!!!!!!!! i really just want to hear from the doctor that i'm pregnant and with a healthy little baby post.
and i totally ordered pizza and coldstone tonight. ummmm, not good. you're not supposed to gain weight in the first trimester..............

i am 40 days pregnant today. so many thoughts going through my mind. so many emotions. i havent' felt many pregnancy symptoms. and though i should be happy i'm not having these horrible symptoms, i'im scared of what it means. i love the baby so much arleady, and i've onlyknow about it for 2 weeks. its just a glimmer into what the future holds for me, all the worries and fears that go into having a child. but i'm also so excited. i just want to be in my second trimester so i can start tellign eveyone about baby, and start wearing maternity clothes (and maybe not feel fat, just pregnant).